


Generally speaking Wade is pretty understanding when it comes to other peoples kinks...

by Kare



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: I can't write PWP, M/M, doesn't stop me from trying
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-07
Updated: 2015-10-07
Packaged: 2018-04-25 08:15:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,424
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4953028
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kare/pseuds/Kare
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I am pretty sure it doesn't exactly qualify as PWP, but it's about as close as my writing skills get...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Generally speaking Wade is pretty understanding when it comes to other peoples kinks...

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, let's be honest here. You heard about the Nano? That write-like-hell-thing every November? I am doing it since years. I have won at least six time. And I have close to nothing to show for it. So I am autumn cleaning last years nano, before the next one comes around. Not because I believe in this one particularly strongly, but because I just want to have one more piece of writing out there...

Okay, I make you a deal: no one cares about a backstory anyway.

 

Right?

 

Right.

 

You know how people aren’t exactly falling over themselves to get laid by the one and only Wade Wilson aka Deadpool?

 

You at least heard the rumors, right?

 

So let’s just picture he had a bit of a dry spell in between.

 

And after a while you just stop to care if you have to do it upside down to get it. If someone wishes to have their feet licked? Well, he had tasted worse. Play dress up? What ever you can picture. Exhibitionism? How about Time Square? Wanna be called animal names? Well, hello butterfly. Dirty animal names? Well, hello dirty butterfly. You wanna dribble hot wax all over me? _Honey, I basically get killed for a living_. Were you expecting me to bat a lash? Bondage had been one of the trickier ones. Not that Wade blamed anyone who felt a lot safer with the merc being all tied up. But he only gotten comfortable with that one after he figured how to tear himself limb from limb if need must. Talk about mood killing… well, if anyone here has a gore fetish, that would be a pretty good time to come forward with that one, too. Tickling? Not as if he could feel most of it, anyway. Thanks to the scarring. Wait, there are people who get aroused by scars? Why had no one ever told me? Where can I…

 

_*smack*_

 

Ouch. Hey, that informations IS relevant to my…

 

_*smack smack*_

 

AOUCH!

 

**"..."**

 

Hey, at least make it worth my while, k? Can I go to Shiklah yet? No? Hey, I am a married man! Well… in another time line, apparently.

 

**"..."**

 

Who do I get to team up with this time? Hm? Why are you holding up a picture of… Ouuuu… YEAH! Keep going!

 

**"..."**

 

Come on! People are here for the PWP.

 

 **"…"** _*crickets chirping*_ …

 

Stop looking like that. I stop arguing, you start writing, k?

 

**"…"**

 

Please?

 

 _*caughing*_ **erm… where were we?**

 

PWP! PWP with my favorite…

 

 _*smack*_ **well then…**

 

_*cough*_

 

And being open toward those things meant that at least his future relationships would not fail because of an over-use of the missionary position. Nothing wrong with that, mind you, just saying. Want something a bit more adventurous? Wade’ll be your man.

 

At least if you are anywhere between ‘legal’ and ‘still breathing’ and preferably human… or at least human shaped.

 

If you want I can be your dressed-up tiger. I just don’t feel like getting claws shredding me while we are at it. Get it?

 

Which is one of the number one arguments to never hook up with the Wolverine. I mean… erm… anyway.

 

That gender preferences might have come down somewhere in between, too.

 

Right. Erm… Yep… Erm, anyway.

 

It might not have done all that much to ease said dry spell, either.

 

And it wasn’t till he added spiders to his ‘might date’ that things were looking up.

 

Sure. Spidey needed a bit of convincing. Some courtship. And he was still playing hard to get. And maybe webbing Wade to a wall might have been a whole lot more effective if Wade had not gotten the whole auto-erotica thing down like a pro… or at least the Harry and Sally style.

 

Spidey had been a bit more mushy during that. Or at least a bit more interested then at the other times. Or maybe just a bit more willing to linger.

 

Wade probably should have realized that he had gotten himself into deep trouble from the speed with which Spiderman had swung away thereafter.

 

But you only ever understand those things in hindsight.

 

Taking a tease a bit too far was one thing.

 

Wade did not even mind that the next wall he found himself webbed to was in a wildly abandoned warehouse at the butt-crack of nowhere.

 

He didn’t mind the slightly angered sway of Spidermans hips either. You have to get at least something for the eyes from it, right? Right.

 

And Wade was just about to unleash his most charming personality in the hope to get laid this time… when the one thing, that could not, should not, can not ever happen in a Wade Wilson fic happened:

 

Spiderman webbed his mouth shut.

 

It was still enough to get a few muffled complains out through the mask.

 

But Spidey not only came closer, he also pulled Wades mask up halfway and webbed his friggin mouth shut.

 

How is that supposed to work?

 

The merc with a mouth that is not mouthing off?

 

Come on!

 

And while Spidey tried to make sure that he was not accidentally chocking everyones favorite merc, Wade started humming random TV intros. Just for the hell of it.

 

And there they were, two clothed spidery fingers, holding Wades nostrils together, effortlessly shortening the intros to 5 seconds tops.

 

You can try it. For what ever reason, if you web someones mouth shut - or just keep it shut volunteer - and hold someones nostrils together, you can not hum for more then ten seconds. If even that. Go ahead. Try.

 

…

 

Didn’t get you all hot and bothered, either, hm?

 

Now, what is a merc to do?

 

Would you believe me if I said spider webs are a bit hard to get out of with no way for leverage? Nope? Well, this is my fic. So deal.

 

All the more since this plot point hings on…

 

Erm…

 

You know what? Let’s just go one with the show, right?

 

Where were we?

 

In a warehouse, with a bound up Wade Wilson - in his Deadpool costume - and one ambiguous spider who may or may not be saying something about pay back and fair play and “I stop if you snap your fingers” - which happened to be free - just to see how far he would be able to take this… but who cares for a backstory, anyway, right?

 

Right.

 

Wade very much cared for the end of this fic.

 

But he also also started to care about the part between now and then.

 

Because his favorite spider did make his intend abundantly clear:

 

If Wade kept the noise down, spidery hands would wander. If he hummed, hands stopped. If he snapped said spider would disappear - or maybe eat him alive. Wade wasn’t to sure about that part.

 

Giving his healing factor he didn’t exactly mind either way.

 

So spidery hands did wander, to Wades jaw, trying the texture of his jaw. Wade knew he was nothing to write home about, but since he did not see look on the face of the man before him he sort of choose to ignore that. He also very much tried to not answer his two boxes who were mostly rating this as a probably not exactly thought out plan.

 

Said hands wandered further to the back of his neck, where his hair would have started in another live. It was… pleasant. Maybe one of his favorite weak spots. Or at least one he remembered liking. And he did not do a muffled whimper, thank you very much.

 

No matter how much stopped hands indicated otherwise.

 

“Like that, do you?”

 

Not like this position allowed Wade much of a nod. But Spidey tried the spot again. Wade was pretty sure his skin was too messed up for goosebumps, but the smile - visible even through the other mans mask - made him think that maybe he might still be having them anyway.

 

Of cause his two boxes chirped in again.

 

This had to be a joke of some sort. Not a particularly pleasant one, as the white box pointed out. But at least one that meant someone took the time to map his torso with their fingertips, yellow contradicted. So, yeah, that spot, right underneath his left ribs? Where said hands had stopped their wandering yet again? Yeah, that might have been another moan.

 

Scrap the might. Spidey did it again. And there was another moan. Shortly followed by some kind of screech - that most definitely did not come from Wade - as the same fingers brushed over his side. Even as it happened again, Wade still refused to link those two.

 

And maybe it was a good thing that someone had shut his mouth up. Because a youthful voice giggled into his ear, something about being ticklish.

 

Wade wondered for a moment why Spideys fingers tickled when he brushed Wades sides, only to hear that sound for a third time.

 

White was pointing out that maybe there was a correlation between Spideys hand on his side and the quite frankly harrowing noise. Wade still refused to link the word ticklish to himself. Yellow was on his side. A manly man was not ticklish. Period.

 

White insisted.

 

Yellow voted for a different wording.

 

His internal monologue was such that at first he did not even notice that the webbed muzzle was suddenly gone.

 

“You are a hard one to shut up, you know?”

 

Well, either that or the author had a sadistic streak.

 

But either way, Wade suddenly found himself shut up the most effective way there was.

 

A piece of cloth with a eager mouth was suddenly pressed to his face and even if it was in an awkward angle, Wade sort of enjoyed it.

 

He would have enjoyed a bit of full body contact even more.

 

But damn those heroes and their bloody morals.

 

Because one of the last things Wade heard was a “Be sure Wade, because next time I might actually gag you so well, you won’t be able to protest, even if you want to. I’ll tie you tight and take all the time in the world, just to learn how many other noises I can draw from this body. And I mean _all_ parts of this body.”

 

There was a not too subtle brush against Wades hip, followed by a wooshing sound, as said Spider disappeared into the night.

 

——————

 

And here we have another fic by an author who can’t write sex scenes and Wade might be grumpling still caught in a net.

 

And we all know that Wade is grumpling loudly.

 

And we all know that being a super hero does strange things to ones perception. The whole carpe diem or rather carpe noctem approach does look a whole lot more interesting if you can’t be sure if you survive tomorrows patrol.

 

So maybe Spidey did hide in some corner, listening to Wade and his two inner voices - at least the part audible for the public through the answers Wade gave and…

 

Yeah. Maybe this wasn’t the healthiest decision. But well: who knew if you had to life with it past tomorrows patrol?

 

And yes, maybe there are things that one would like to do in the privacy of ones own bedroom. But well: see the carpe noctem part.

 

So Wade still tried to get his costume web-free when - in the midst of his rambling - a guy in Spidermans costume sauntered into his direction. His face was free up to the nose. And it’s not like Wade had never seen that part before. They had shared a hot dog of some building in the middle of the night. And shoving food through a mask was rather complicated. So…

 

“Made up your mind yet?”

 

And seriously, what kind of question is that? All the more in a fic like this?

 

Let me just point out that being webbed to a wall for almost one and a half hour does… sort of… produces… a movement deficit.

 

So, yeah, Wade practically attacked Spideys mouth, before the other man had much of a chance to react. Noses bumped, mouths met only halfway. Two men tried to find their rhythm. And while their mouths still tried to figure it out, Spideys body went on autopilot.

 

Because if you can crawl up walls you can also crawl up other people. And if you hook one hand on the back of someone head and the other on his back and if you hook one leg over someones hip and the other behind his knee… it does feel an awful lot like climbing up a wall. A wall that is moaning deliciously if you cant your hips just so.

 

To him Wade felt like a wall of muscles, muscles that were moving under his hands in the most intriguing of ways.

 

And while their mouths kept on battling, Wade gave himself an adequate advantage. One of his hands dug into the other mans neck, while his other hand snuck between their bodies.

 

And the disadvantage of crawling up other people is that you hardly get a say in where the whole show is moving. So Spidey found himself trapped between a warm wall of muscles and a not so warm wall of solid concrete.

 

It might have done, if only the younger man had been a bit less clingy. There was hardly enough room to grope, let alone comfortably move a hand.

 

So Wades next station were, quite cleverly, a number of crates, that were everything, but not close by. Not that he wanted to dislodge those possessive hands from his body. It had been a long time since someone clung to him like their life depended on it. But if this evening was to go beyond a semi-platonic hug he needed to get his hands on other body parts.

 

He pressed the younger man down on the crates, rasping between kisses:

 

“I promise, next time you get to tie me up, gag me, cut my costume from me or dry hump me like a sheet, if you wish. You can do that for hours. I won’t mind. I honestly won’t.” And the body underneath, curved like a bow string, moaning at him all too eagerly, was enough of an answer. “I promise. It will be good. What ever you want. I heal from what ever you want, just for you to do it again. But right now I need your hands to… be… a bit more productive.”

 

And they were.

 

Mouths continued to battle, hand fumbled, lungs gasped and both lined themselves up against the other, both hands found their aim and while one pumped, the other teased ever so slightly.

 

And while muscles burned and costumes stuck in sweaty places, both found their release almost simultaneously.

 

What followed were gasps, muscles convulsing, lungs screaming for air and bodies cooling too fast.

 

And between long breaths the younger man whispered, almost sleepy “I will most definitely hold you to that.”


End file.
